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Post by Lane1777 on Mar 24, 2015 17:29:51 GMT
I don`t know what I call this, some say its free verse...I think so. I write a lot of lyric/music, play guitar. I think that's where it comes from. if you read this and comment thank you now. Lane
Ravage
Stepping back through her yesterdays memories gather like leaves all the kisses and promised love carry unbearable weight.
The candles are burning, tears flow as she touches her past. Here the dim of a hopeless tomorrow smothers the will for today.
For her no rising, no soul to to protect her heart Life bled through her constant searching, wept for the dust at her feet. ....ravaged days smoothed by hands that held on so long.
© Copyright 2015 Vincent "question my abilities..never my heart"
a young boy asked me this.
The Other Side
I sit and wonder often, what some of us have done.
To have to walk an early path, so young and all alone.
To have to make the choices, arrange a mind to fit.
Who loves me here, who loves me not, is it different on the other side?
Who stands with me who walks away Will I be loved or stand alone again.
mirrored life a child of dust. Is it different on the other side....
Copyright 2015 Vincent
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Post by Rested on Apr 29, 2015 7:21:35 GMT
Hi Lane! I like your style. I particularly enjoyed the first poem! It has a hefty weight (I know you used this word yourself but it is so appropriate) to it, in a good way. This is particularly present in the last stanza for me. It's like it takes the sorrow and pain, bundles it with exhaustion and really lets the reader feel those "ravaged days". I also enjoyed the imagery of the candle light mixed with the darkness of her, the tears reflecting a teasing warm glow that is more illusory than anything. The other poem is more philosophical, to state the obvious. It mirrors my own mind, which is always probing, always away and wondering about what this or that experience or existence would be like. In this case, the pondering is obviously very deep. I particularly liked "Will I be loved or stand alone again." Nice work!
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